


Tiny Humans and the Hands That Hold Them

by itsemmalie0821



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Teen Pregnancy, and a baby, but no one was writing it, gert's anxiety in code red, gertchase cuddles and good ol fashioned lovin', pregnancy while on the run, so I wrote it, takes a village to raise a kid right?, that looks like chase and acts like gert, the pregnancy au i've been wanting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-04-23 02:17:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14322372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsemmalie0821/pseuds/itsemmalie0821
Summary: Gert looked down at the stick. Pregnant. Terrified doesn't begin to describe it. Will the baby be a welcomed addition to the hostel? Or will things go south very quickly?





	1. Anxieties of A Girl

**Author's Note:**

> I still don't know how to use commas and run-on sentences are still my kink. Sorry. 
> 
> I'm always a sucker for a pregnancy au, so I wrote one for Gertchase because it didn't seem like anyone else was going to write it.

Chase heard the sound of the toilet flushing in the bathroom next to his and Gert’s room. He opened his eyes, squinting to adjust his irises to the morning light that leaked in from the top of the window that wasn’t covered by underground dirt. He found the spot next to him empty, the spot usually occupied by his girlfriend. 

He grabbed the watch from the small nightstand and focused his eyes on the time. 7:32 AM. 

Soon purple hair flashed around the door frame. Gert looked tired, dark circles under her eyes. Sure, she had been sleeping a lot better since she and Chase finally talked a few months back, but it was all still a nerve-wracking situation and she worried more often than not. Her hand laid over her stomach as she shuffled her feet across the floor to crawl back into bed with Chase. 

“Did you throw up again?” he asked, wrapping his arm around her as she situated her blankets. 

“Yeah. That’s pretty much every day this week,” she huffed. “I don’t know what’s wrong.” It was beginning to worry her. She had never been in this kind of situation before. Obviously, being on the run from their murderous parents and the entirety of the LAPD was different and crazy stressful. But she was never one to get sick, throw up day in and day out. 

“Maybe it’s just something you ate.” 

Gert scoffed, lifting her head and propping it up on Chase’s chest. “We all eat the same things, Chase. Nobody else is sick,” she reminded. A dark cloud felt like it was settling over her. All of her thoughts were pointing in different directions and she could not focus on anything. Then it dawned on her. “Maybe it’s my anxiety.” 

“Your anxiety has never made you throw up before,” Chase replied after a small pause. Not even he could deny that it made sense. He had heard of anxiety so bad that someone could actually throw up. But Gert was strong and so powerful. To him it always seemed like she couldn’t get taken down by anything. 

“Well I’ve never had anything to be this anxious over.” 

It was a nightmare if Gert was being honest. It was impossible to know what would happen. Any day now, the parents could come bursting in, destroying this little home they’ve made for themselves. They could be arrested, torn apart from each other, or even worse. Sometimes they did have head-to-head battles with their parents and she knew they were extremely lucky every time they came out alive. And even if they did make it back home, it was a home that was sinking slowly into the ground, more and more day after day. Gert could never delete the image from her brain of the hostel, at one point, just giving up and being swallowed into the earth. So yeah, maybe thinking that her anxiety was getting a little worse, worse enough to make her sick, wasn’t the craziest idea. 

“Babe, you’ve been doing really good. You’re learning to handle your anxiety without your meds,” Chase soothed, his hand lightly grazing Gert’s lower back to comfort her. 

“Not like I have a choice,” she scoffed again. Honestly, she would give anything to have her meds. Anything to help ease the daily screaming inside her head. She didn’t tell Chase she worried as much as she did. More often than not, she insisted she was doing better than she actually was. She was sure he could tell she was a mess inside. The probably permanent crinkle that was indented into her forehead most of the time probably gave her away. But on the off chance he hadn’t noticed (which he had of course), she didn’t mention it. 

But if she was thankful for one thing, it’s that she had this group of people around her. This little family they had was the only thing getting her through. They helped her through every panic attack, no matter how big or little. They listened to her, talked her down without insinuating that she was crazy. Chase had already sat up with her late at night more than a few times so she wouldn’t have to be alone in her fears. 

Chase grinned down at Gert. “The point is, I’m telling you, it’s probably just something you ate.” 

“Yeah probably…” 

Chase let his eyes close and fell back to sleep after only a few minutes. Gert remained still, not wanting to alert Chase to the fact that she was stuck in a worry whirl. She was throwing up a lot, more than Chase actually knew. He was a pretty deep sleeper so she was often able to get up early and run into the bathroom without waking him. During the day, she would run outside or even get lucky and he would be out on a recon mission or working meticulously on his fistagons. 

The thought of it being because of her anxiety wasn’t something she was ready to drop completely, because as much as Chase was against the thought of her anxiety being to blame, she thought it was pretty practical. But her mind flew around, landing on different possible causes until one came upon her that she couldn’t shake. 

She thought about the date. What time of month is it? 

For the first time in months, her mind stood still. It was like not a sound in the room, in the world, could get through to her right now. Carefully, she untangled herself from Chase and slid out of bed. Tip-toeing into the next room, she flipped the bathroom light switch on. She placed her hand over her stomach, lightly grazing it with her fingertips at first. Turning to her side, she lifted her shirt. Nothing looked different. Her stomach looked the same as it always had. Then she suddenly felt stupid. How pregnant could she be? Not enough to be able to see it physically, not enough to have a bump of any kind. She felt dumb for even attempting to see a bump on her tummy. Scatter-brained was an understatement for how she was feeling. 

The mirror was giving her nothing and she didn’t want to look at it anymore. She slipped back into her own room, closing the door quietly behind her. Gert was frozen, her back against the door as she stared at Chase sleeping in their bed. Pregnant. The word was terrifying, more terrifying than she ever thought something as simple as a word could be. It couldn’t be true though. Yeah, of course she and Chase were having sex. Have you seen Chase? As embarrassed by it as she was, Gert practically wanted to jump on top of him every time he so much as grinned at her. He had no right being as handsome as he was. So yes, they had sex, a lot. They were still teenagers after all and they couldn’t be blamed for their hormones. Then there was the fact that they had both waited nearly their whole lives to be with the other person. 

But they used condoms. They always used condoms. Gert made sure of it. Her head shuffled through every time they had slept together, trying to find a time where maybe their hormones got the best of them and they forgot to wear one. But nope. Nothing. Gert wasn’t dumb and she had actually paid attention in health class when they said condoms were only about 90-something percent effective. She couldn’t remember the exact number, but all that seemed to matter right now is that the percent wasn’t 100. 

There was no way to be sure. Not without… 

A test. She had to get a test. She found herself wishing that their parents weren’t murderers, that they weren’t stuck in this hostel. Granted, she always wished that. But now more than ever. She could just tell Chase she had to head home, then pick up a test on the way and take it in her own house. But luck wasn’t on their side. 

Gert had no idea how she was going to get her hands on a pregnancy test. Or how she would pay for it. The group kept all their receipts, so they could keep track of how much they bought and how much certain things cost. Nothing was going to get finished right now. Her stomach still felt queasy, her head was starting to hurt, and she was starting to feel like she couldn’t breathe. Realizing she had barely moved a muscle since coming back into her room, she walked carefully over to the bed and crawled in next to Chase. He didn’t shift much as she pulled some of the covers off of him to pull them over herself. She stared at his face as he slept next to her. He looked so calm and at peace. While her mind was completely scattered, like a piece of trash being thrown around in the ocean waves until it finally washes ashore. She didn’t want to tell Chase what was happening, that she could possibly be growing a life inside of her that they would have to raise in this shit-hole. Not until she was sure. She was already worried enough for the both of them anyway. 

Now to figure out how to get her hands on a pregnancy test. Sooner the better, she thought. Only minutes had gone by since this revelation even appeared in her head and she was already crumbling beneath the weight of the possibility. 

……………….

Gert was confused about how she even managed to fall asleep with so much on her mind, but she did. By the time she woke back up, the other side of the bed was empty. Chase usually woke up pretty early, going out into the surrounding forest to go on a run with Old Lace. Lace would hunt on the way, getting her breakfast in, while Chase would shower as soon as he got back and usually be done in time to eat breakfast with the rest of the teens. It was a cute little routine they had gotten into. Gert enjoyed it. Especially knowing that Lace and Chase got a long well, it always warmed her heart to see. 

Rolling out of bed, she climbed into the shower immediately, craving the warm water to run down her clammy body. Warm might be a little bit of an exaggeration, but it was better than just plain cold, which was what they had to deal with for about the first month, before Chase got the radiator working. She finished her shower, knowing she needed to talk to Karolina before Chase got back from his run. 

Dressed and hair pulled into a ponytail, she started on her mission to find her blonde friend. She found her in the kitchen, cutting up fruit for breakfast. Gert had already been expecting to have to pull her away from Nico, but their dark, goth friend was nowhere in sight. Much easier for Gert so she wouldn’t complain. 

“Karolina, can I talk to you?” Gert asked, her voice careful and low, so no one nearby could hear her. 

“Yeah,” she smiled. She had turned slightly to grin as Gert as she answered and was about to turn back around and multi-task, cutting fruit as she listened. But Gert reached out without warning and grabbed her friend’s hand, pulling her into the nearby hallway. “You ok?”

Gert nodded. Nothing about her nod or her facial expression held any proof of truth that she was ok in any way. “I just… uh, it’s your turn to go on the grocery run tomorrow right?” she asked quickly. 

“Yeah.” 

“Do you have anyone to take with you yet?” 

Since the moment Gert realized the next grocery run was tomorrow and it was Karolina’s turn to go (thank god because anyone else would be a nightmare to have to ask), she continuously came up short on ways to avoid telling her what she really needed from the store. If there was one person she felt like would be the easiest to ask it would be Karolina. Even with that luck, this was still an incredibly hard thing for Gert. Asking Karolina would mean that this is a real possibility, not just something that her anxiety could have cooked up. And actually getting a test meant she would have to take it! And yes that was kind of the point, but it still made her heart beat ten times faster than it should. 

Karolina must have missed the nervous expression painted on Gert’s face because she chuckled lightly at her question. 

“You know no one likes going on grocery runs. I’ll probably just make Nico go with me like always,” she beamed casually. 

“Can I go with you? I, um, I need to get something,” Gert said in a voice that much too suspicious. Karolina still didn’t fully catch on, as her expression remained casual. 

“Uh, of course! What do you need to get?” If anything, Karolina thought it was a bit weird that Gert felt she needed to go on the supply run just because she needed something specific. Whenever one of them needed something, they would just put it on the supply list. Plus no one ever wanted to go on supple runs. That’s why they started doing them in turns. Karo and Nico usually went with each other, while Gert and Chase wouldn’t let the other go without them. Alex and Molly usually went with each other, unless Molly wanted solo sister time with Gert. 

Suddenly, it seemed to click for Karolina that the look on Gert’s face was less than casual. The way her eyes shifted nervously and her fingers jumbled in front of her, the furrow in her brows and the anxious flush of her cheeks. This wasn’t normal. There was a reason she wanted to go on the supply run. 

“Gert, are you ok?” Karolina asked, pretty much already knowing the answer was no. 

“I’m fine,” Gert mumbled under breath, avoiding eye contact with Karo at all costs. 

“Gert what’s wrong?” No answer. “What do you need to get at the store?”

“If I tell you, you have to keep it between us,” she demanded. It was clear that Karolina was about to say something, possibly question the seriousness in Gert’s tone, but Gert didn’t give her the chance to speak. “I’m serious. You can't tell Chase. You can't tell Nico. Nobody.” 

“What’s going on?” Karolina’s voice was small and worried. She watched carefully as Gert looked around to make sure no one was nearby. 

“What’s the date today?” she surprised Karolina by asking. 

“Why does-”

“Karo what’s the date today?” she asked again. 

“The 21st.” 

“Ok. And I should’ve started my period on the 6th,” Gert revealed. For some reason leading Karolina down that little path seemed easier than getting out the words ‘I might be pregnant.’ Those words were hard enough to say in her mind, she couldn’t imagine saying them out loud. 

“Gert…?” Karolina got it. She knew what Gert was trying to tell her. 

But she was hoping, praying she was wrong. 

“I need to get a pregnancy test.” 

And just like that, any hope Karolina had that Gert was being cryptic for a different reason was destroyed. 

The words practically burned Gert’s tongue as they came out. Her lips felt numb as the sentence trailed to an end, her body felt close behind to lose all feeling. Watching Karolina’s face, she saw nothing. She could only think maybe Karolina was feeling pretty numb right now too. 

“What?! How did this happen?” 

And there’s the reaction that Gert was waiting for. 

“Do you really need me to explain pregnancy to you?” Gert asked, letting her natural knack for sarcasm take over. She didn’t mean to be so short with her friend. It was understandable for her to be shocked. Gert would be too if this was a reverse situation. But Gert was terrified and dumb questions were not what she needed right now. Ok maybe calling it a dumb question wasn’t fair. Considering, Gert asked herself that same thing this very morning. How the hell did this happen? She didn’t have an answer to the question, and maybe that’s what was making her so cross and short tempered in the moment. 

“Aren’t you and Chase the ones that have that giant box of condoms in your room? I thought the point of that was to use them,” Karolina complained in a hushed tone that made it clear all she wanted to be doing was yelling. Her arms moved around wildly as she talked and the way her voice displayed such an accusing tone made Gert want to burst into tears at the whole situation. 

“We do use them Karolina! Obviously something went wrong!” Gert found herself yelling now. Not hushed yelling like Karolina was doing, but real actual yelling. Her hands reached up to bury her face into. Sucking back tears, she looked up at Karo, who seemed to have calmed down seeing how worked up Gert was. “Look I don’t even know if I'm pregnant,” she paused, once again struck by the sting of the ‘p’ word, “but I'm late, and I’ve been throwing up for the past almost week and a half now, and it’s not like Chase and I aren’t having sex. I just need to get this test ok? Can I please come with you?” 

From a mile away, Karolina could see that Gert was struggling. How could she not be? It was impossible to imagine what was happening in the head of the purple haired girl. It was probably a mess for a hundred different reasons. 

“Of course,” the blonde finally answered. 

There was a deep desire inside of Karolina to say something positive, something even remotely helpful. But she had no idea what to say. None of the words coming to her head seemed any bit helpful. They all seemed insignificant. She worried that they could be mistaken as too nonchalant. She didn’t want to patronize Gert and say something stupid or cliché like ‘it’s going to be ok’ because that was a lie. Maybe everything would be ok but they didn’t know that. They didn’t much of anything in their situation in general. Gert knew that. And Karolina knew Gert and she knew that Gert didn’t want to be lied to. She wanted the truth. But the truth right now would probably just make everything worse. 

So she struck words completely from her list of comforting options. Instead, she reached out her arms to gather Gert in a hug. At first, she wasn’t sure if Gert would hug back. After a moment, her arms returned the favor, wrapping gently around Karolina. They stayed like that, Gert feeling peaceful in the comfort of one of her oldest friends. 

But then Old Lace ran through the hallway, past the girls, and into Chase and Gert’s room. If Lace was back, that meant Chase was back. Gert pulled away from Karo, pulling her in close to plead her silence. 

“Do me a favor and don’t say anything to Chase,” she asked. She watched as Karolina’s eyes grew wide. 

“You haven’t told him?” she asked, bewildered. 

“He doesn’t need to know yet!” 

“Gert he-”

“I will tell him after I take the test. Alright?” While talking Gert’s eyes were shifting from the friend in front of her to the entrance of the hallway. Any second Chase would walk through the hallway to get to the bathroom. She heard the door click closed, but no Chase. He must have stopped in the living room. She could hear the TV on so Molly or Alex must be in there. They would only provide so much of a distraction though. “Karo, I don’t want to worry him. And if the test is negative there is no need to tell him anyway. Just please don’t say anything?” 

It was more of a demand than an actual question, but in truth, Gert was in no position to be making demands so she tried phrasing it as more of a question. After a contemplating sigh, Karolina nodded. She opened her mouth to say something, but Chase’s voice beat her to it. 

“What are you guys doing?” he asked, walking towards them. Looking impossibly good for someone who was covering in sweat and had his hair all ruffled from running, Gert cursed herself for thinking how much she wanted to drag him off to their room and jump his god-damn bones. Like they weren’t already in enough trouble because of that. Even while knowing that this was the opposite time to be thinking about this, Gert couldn’t help but settling her eyes on the sweat glistening off his biceps. 

Luckily, Karolina was not distracted like Gert was. “Just a little girl talk,” she smiled. Gert snapped out of her heart-eyed daze long enough to nod along with what Karolina had said. “But we’re going to go finish breakfast now. Chase, I suggest you shower. You smell like hell,” she grinned charmingly before walking off the kitchen. 

“I would do what she says before she sticks Nico on you,” Gert smiled, trying to act natural and calm. Chase was looking for any sign of worry on her face. He must not have found any, well no more than he usually saw, because all he did was lean in and press a slightly sweaty kiss to her cheek. “Ew,” Gert giggled, wiping the sweat residue off her cheek. 

“Don’t wipe my kiss off,” he joked. 

“I'm wiping off the sweat, not the kiss,” she teased with a laugh. Chase got in a quick laugh, gave a teasing side-eye to his girlfriend, and stalked off to the shower.


	2. One Postive. Many Negatives.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment Gert dreads is here. Such a tiny stick will change her life forever. Inside Gert's head as the realization tries to process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just real quick! I am leaving (in like 20 mins) for Palm Springs this weekend and will not be back until next week. I wont have my laptop with me so I wont be able to update or write. The next chapter is only about half done so it might be a while before that chapter gets up:( 
> 
> But this chapter is extra long so I hope that makes up for it a little bit! Enjoy babes

Silence. 

Karolina’s eyes moved up to try to meet Gert’s as the purple-haired girl sat in the van’s passenger seat. Gert’s head was stuck, staring directly in front of her. It was the same as it had been for the past twenty minutes. So Karolina turned back to stare back out her window. 

The van was parked and sitting in the parking lot of the store. The Walmart the group decided to go to was far enough outside of the greater LA area to where they would hopefully not be recognized so easily, but close enough to still be a little convenient. Gert had said she needed a minute before going in, but that was a while ago. Karolina didn’t want to rush. But if they didn’t get back to the hostel on time, there would be questions. She turned her head to look at Gert again. The poor girl looked frozen. Not a muscle had moved, it barely looked like she was breathing. The only way you could even tell that she alive was by her wide, terrified eyes and the occasional soft rise and fall of her chest with a deep breath. She hadn’t slept at all the night before, which wasn’t surprising. The hours of the night passed with her laying on her side of the bed, trying to be as quiet as she could be, not wanting to alert Chase to her being awake. She studied the outlines of his face, not unlike she had done a million other times when she couldn’t sleep. But the night before was different. As she looked at him, watched him sleep soundly, she pictured a tiny baby with the same features. A small version of Chase with the same bright eyes and little forehead crinkle and same indented dimple on the side of their smile. The thought made her smile until she caught sight of the room around them and remembered where they were, what their lives had been forced to be. 

Even now, sitting here in the car, her anxiety hit her like a truck. She wasn’t thinking about how cute a tiny Chase would be and how she would love him or her as much as she loved Chase. No, right now she thought about actual Chase. How would he feel? What would he say? The vision of steaming mad, red-faced Chase screaming at her was trapped in her brain. Because this was all her fault right? Sure it takes two people to get pregnant but she was the responsible one. There had to have been something she could do to prevent this. And she didn’t do it. It was her fault they could be parents in their teen years. They were on the run. They were runaways. They couldn’t raise a baby like this. And he would realize that, too. This whole situation with their parents wouldn’t last forever. Maybe it would go on for a while, but it wouldn’t last forever. And the second they could get back out into the real world, meet new people, Chase would realize he didn’t have to be stuck with plain old Gert and their kid. 

Gert was spiraling. She was literally spiraling right here in the passenger seat of their beat up, stolen van. She could feel Karolina turn to look at her every few minutes, but she couldn’t react. Gert was scared if she moved, acknowledged out loud her situation right now at all, she would break. The best she could do was keep her break down inside her own head and contain everything behind the dam. 

“Gert? Are you ready?” Karolina asked carefully. There was no reaction from Gert. She wasn’t ready. She wasn’t sure if she would ever be ready. But they had to go in. The longer they were gone, the more suspicious it would be when they returned to the hostel. Gert turned to look at her friend for the first time pretty much since they had gotten in the van. Her eyes were soft, but not pitying. There was sympathy and concern. But there was no doubt in Gert’s mind that she also felt a little sorry for her. How could she not? 

“No,” Gert replied. “But let’s just go do this.” She reached for the door handle and pushed it open, getting out to meet Karolina on the other side. 

They always split the list up evenly, allowing for the trip to be quicker. The less time they spent inside the store, the less likely they were to be seen. After giving Gert her half of the list, Karolina grabbed hold of her hand, knowing she could a little bit of extra strength right now. The blonde wished she could help Gert more with this. It wouldn’t be good for time and it wouldn’t feel safe to accompany Gert into the aisle with the pregnancy tests, even though Karolina really wanted to. They split their separate ways once inside the store, Gert wandering off. She tried to focus all her energy on the part of her list that didn’t include items that told her if she was pregnant or not. Every item she checked off her list brought her closer to that aisle. The pang in her chest seemed to vibrate throughout her entire body and rattle her bones with every step she took. Fear creeped up closer behind her like a shadow growing on the wall with every item she grabbed and chucked into her cart carelessly. It was getting harder and harder to handle until Gert realized she had nothing else to get except the test. 

Her feet carried her to the right aisle, her face blank and emotionless. It seemed ironic, considering the fact that every emotion was running through her veins at hyper speed. Her eyes trailed to the ground, trying to keep her mind occupied with counting the floor tiles as she walked. Her mind had other plans. She thought of Chase. She thought of their baby. She thought of pregnancy. Her pregnancy. She didn’t know anything about pregnancy or giving birth or any of that. And how was she going to do this? She looked up and BOOM.

She was suddenly standing in an aisle surrounded by pregnancy tests. She stared ahead of her. The smiling women on the test boxes seemed to be mocking her. That wouldn’t be her. Maybe if the test was negative, but that would just slam her with a million other problems. She would have to come to terms with the new possibility that maybe her anxiety had gotten so bad that it was making her sick. And if it wasn’t her anxiety, then what was it? She refused to believe that stupid PG explanation Chase offered up about her eating something bad. She couldn’t just go to the doctor. Even if she was pregnant she would need a doctor. 

“Oh my god,” she whispered under her breath. 

She couldn’t focus. She didn’t even know where to focus. She stood still, dragging her eyes from one pregnancy test to another trying to figure out which one to get. Maybe the most expensive one. This didn’t seem like something to skimp on. But she couldn’t spend that much money on it without the rest of the gang noticing. But then again, she had to be sure that the test was accurate. This seemed impossible. There was no scenario in this where she came out a winner. There was just bad and worse. She couldn’t even concentrate enough right now to tell which is which. She lifted her hands, burying her face in them and releasing a deep sigh. 

“You ok, honey?” a voice sounded. Gert looked up to see woman standing at the edge of the aisle, staring at her. She looked young, probably still in her 20s if Gert had to guess. Her eyes were kind and soft and Gert didn’t feel threatened. But she still felt vulnerable and she didn’t have time to explain her problems to a complete stranger. 

“Yeah I’m fine. I’m just…,” Gert trailed off. 

“It’s overwhelming huh?” the woman asked. With a shy smile, Gert nodded. It was terribly overwhelming. If she couldn’t even pick a test, how was she supposed to be someone’s mother? She didn’t even know if she was pregnant yet, but she was already feeling like a failure. “I understand,” the woman spoke into the silence, stepping closer to Gert. “I got pregnant when I was in high school. I’ve been in your shoes.” 

Gert looked up. The woman looked kind, like life hadn’t beaten her down. Gert was sure even she looked like life at beaten her down, mostly because it had, at least lately. Even though she was positive the woman’s experience with teenage pregnancy had several different details than her own, Gert had questions. And the kind, brunette woman reminded Gert of her mom in a way she couldn’t describe. The two looked nothing alike. Maybe it was her demeanor or the way she smiled. It made Gert sure she was honestly just trying to help. She saw Gert struggling, probably knowing the young girl was in the same place she found herself in years ago. Now she just wanted to help. Gert knew it probably wasn’t a good idea to stand here and talk to this woman because any second she could recognize Gert as one of the teenage ‘murders’ she saw on the news. But she had to ask her for advice. 

“You got pregnant when you were 16?” her nervous voice croaked out. 

“17 actually. But yeah. I was still in high school,” she answered, now stepping closer to stand right next to Gert as it was clear now that Gert accepted her presence. 

Questions raced through Gert’s mind. She didn’t know which ones were important enough to ask now. This conversation had to be quick. “Were you scared?” 

The woman laughed, as if it was a stupid question. Part of Gert knew it was a little bit of a stupid question. “Terrified. But you want to know a secret?” Gert nodded, eyes squinted with curiosity. “Being terrified to have a baby doesn’t make you a failure. Everyone is scared to have a baby. Especially their first baby. And I know having a baby in your teens is a lot scarier, but having a baby is always scary.” 

The advice felt a little pointless. Yeah, it would be just as scary as having a baby period, if Gert wasn’t apart of a group of magical runaway teens who were wanted by the police and living in some beaten down, sunken mansion. She kept that to herself though. 

But there was something about what was just said that made the sinking feeling in Gert’s stomach a little less severe. It wasn’t a sharp drop anymore. It had turned into more of a gradual fall. Not great, not all better, not nearly, but it was something to comfort her dark thoughts even a tiny bit. 

“Can I ask you something? Something that may be a little personal. And you totally don’t have to answer if it is too personal! But it’s just-” Gert rambled until the woman smiled and threw her hand up. 

“You can ask me sweetheart. It’s ok,” she chuckled. 

“The guy…,” Gert started, realizing she didn’t know what she was trying to ask or how to phrase it. “The father. Was he around?” 

“He was my boyfriend at the time. And he was just as terrified as I was. Frozen even, the first time I told him.” 

“How did you tell him? My boyfriend- the father, we’ve only been dating for maybe 6 months. And we’ve know each other our entire lives, but I can't help but thinking that doesn’t matter when you’re trying to tell him that you’re pregnant with his kid,” Gert swallowed. Saying the words never got easier. Maybe it would take more than a day for the words to taste bearable. She could only hope, because right now it just felt like an electric shock to her heart every time she said the word ‘pregnant.’ 

The quaint smile sitting on the woman’s pink lips made Gert think her question had reminded her of nice memories. “I blurted it out,” she laughed. “I didn’t know how to tell him. We hadn’t been dating long and we were so young. I just kept thinking he would walk out and never look back.” 

“But he didn’t?” 

She shook her head with that same smile, seemingly imbedded into her face at this point. “Nope. In fact,” she listed her hand to reveal a diamond ring sitting on her finger, “we’re married now. And we have 3 kids, including the one we had when I was 17. I can't speak for your boyfriend, but if you know him and you trust him, then you just have to get the words out. And I know that is so much easier said than done, but trust me, it’s a lot easier to get through this with someone by your side. Even if they are as scared as you, it’s nice to be able to share the scary.” 

Gert spaced. It seemed impossible for Chase to want to be with her for the long-haul. But then again, it seemed impossible for him to want to be with her at all but here they were. Throwing a baby into this, though. God dammit it was like every helpful word that was just said to Gert, everything she was being told that brought her some moments peace, they were all being drowned out by her anxiety. It clawed its way back up into Gert’s brain even though she was trying like hell to push it down. Life hadn’t been kind to Gert lately. Life had put her in some dirty hostel. It had taken her away from civilization, school, normal life. Her baby would be merely surviving like she was. This woman was trying to help, give Gert some hope to hold onto. But they had different circumstances. Gert was sure if she told this nice lady exactly what she would be bringing a baby into, her advice would be different. She would tell Gert she was screwed, that she messed up big time. Nice job Gert. Great work, bringing a baby into this mess. And Chase, god Chase, no way would he stay. He would tolerate her as long as he had to until they got out of this mess and then he would head for the hills. 

In Gert’s silence, the lady next to her saw her gaze drift back to the stacks and stacks of pregnancy test boxes. She reached out to one and handed it to Gert. “Use this one. It’s not too expensive and it’s pretty easy to read. Accurate,” she smiled. 

Gert didn’t know how to respond to her kindness. It would’ve been so easy for her to just walk past the aisle once she saw frustrated Gert standing there on the verge of tears. But she didn’t. She walked up to her and told her story and offered help. “Thank you. Seriously, you didn’t have to do all of this,” Gert smiled back, sucking a tear back up behind her eyelid as it threatened to spill over. 

“It’s no problem. I’m Sheila by the way,” she introduced herself. 

“I'm Ge-” Gert sucked back the words, her brain catching up and cutting her off. “I’m Gabby,” she corrected. Even giving away her real name seemed dangerous. ‘Gert’ was not a common name by any means. It could be just the thing to trigger memories of news casts. Sheila seemed to accept the name Gabby. Her demeanor didn’t change. 

“You’ll be ok, Gabby. Good luck sweetie.” 

Sheila smiled at Gert as she walked down the aisle and turned the corner, leaving Gert’s sight. She looked down at the test she clutched in her hands. This was it. This is what she came for. She knew after speaking to Sheila that she should feel better. And she probably would feel better if she was a normal teenager. Or if she didn’t have her anxiety to make every bad scenario so prominent in her mind. Positive another breakdown was eminent and knowing she didn’t want to have a meltdown in some random aisle of a Walmart, Gert chucked the box into her cart. Quickly she made her way to the registers, keeping her head down in shame as the older cashier scanned her pregnancy test. 

Karolina was already sitting in the van when Gert exited the store. She put her bags in the back quietly and got into the passenger seat without so much as a word to Karolina. Her eyes didn’t even move up to the blonde. Instead, they just stared out the side window. 

“Are you ok? Did you get a test?” Karolina asked. 

Gert nodded, not turning her head to the girl beside her. “Yeah I got it,” her emotionless voice replied. 

Karolina took the tone of voice as a sign that Gert didn’t want to talk. She started the van and exited the parking lot. Along the way home, Gert started thinking of how she was going to take the test. Chase was probably home. Maybe she could get Karo to distract him, take him outside for something. The test only took a few minutes, it could be a quick distraction. Then Gert realized that would mean she would have to take the test alone. That scared her more than anything. Actually, telling Chase about any of this was the scariest, but taking the alone was a close second. She felt like she had no real plan formulated by the time the van was put into park. Gert’s eyes processed their surroundings to grasp the fact that they were back at the hostel. 

“What if Chase is inside? I need to get to the bathroom to take the test,” Gert asked out loud instead of in her own head this time. 

“I’ll take care of Chase, alright? You just get to the bathroom,” Karolina spoke in a strong voice. Gert suddenly felt very supported. Karo was there beside her, helping her. When they were kids, Gert and Karolina weren’t the best of friends. They were friends obviously, they were all friends. But those two were never two of the closest. Gert always preferred Chase and Karo always preferred Nico. Now they knew why of course, but that’s just how the pairings always went. But here they were, sitting in the van with love and support flowing between them. It warmed Gert’s heart. 

The girls acted as casual as they could, bringing the bags into hostel like always. Inside the hostel seemed quiet. Like no one was home. 

“Nico!?” Karolina yelled through the halls. A moment later, it wasn’t Nico that appeared in the hallway, but Alex. “Alex where is everybody?” she asked, slightly nervous. There wasn’t a lot of places for the teens to go, especially since the two girls had the van, so it rattled her nerves a bit that no one was in sight except Alex. 

“The just wanted some air. They took Old Lace on a walk. They haven’t even been gone long,” he replied, completely uncaring. It wasn’t surprising that he didn’t want to partake in the walk with the others. He was always busy obsessing over computer stuff; setting up satellite connections, trying to hack into the Gibborium’s mainframe remotely. Of course, it hadn’t worked, their parents were too smart to get hacked. But Alex was determined, and crazy smart so they let him try knowing if anyone could do it, it was Alex. 

Alex started rummaging through the bags, looking through the receipt he grabbed out of one. Gert shoved her hands in her jacket pockets, playing with the crumpled receipt she was hiding. While standing in the check out line, she figured the smartest thing to do was to pay for her pregnancy test in a separate transaction. She just hoped they wouldn’t look too much into the total money that was spent and realize there was some missing. There wasn’t usually too much of an inspection, but it was still a little nerve-wracking with Alex poking around. She eyed the bag that had the test buried at the bottom and inched closer to it, darting her eyes up to Karolina for help. 

“Uh- hey Alex!” Karolina grinned. “I think there’s 1 or 2 more bags in the van. Will you go grab them? I need Gert’s help with something really quick in my room” 

Thankful was the word Gert could think of to describe how she felt about that gorgeous blonde. Alex nodded without hesitation, leaving the girls alone in the kitchen. Gert quickly unburied the test from the bag in front of her. Grabbing Karolina’s hand, she walked directly to the bathroom by her and Chase’s room. She and Karolina filed inside, Gert closing the door behind them and locked it. The sound filling the room was the soft humming of the light above the mirror. Neither girl talked. Gert’s eyes were focused solely on the box she held in her hands. The next few minutes would change her entire life. She had no say or power in what was about to happen. It was too late to change whatever was happening inside her own body. 

“Gert?” Karolina’s voice was a mere whisper. “No matter what that test says, I’m right here for you ok? And Chase will be, too.” 

“Can we please not talk about Chase?” Gert scoffed, ripping the box open with no cares about neatness, spilling its contents onto the counter. 

Karolina opened her mouth to speak but fought back her words. She couldn’t quite put her finger on why Gert was being so secretive about Chase, even insecure. Gert had always been insecure, but Chase had always loved her. The blond chalked it up to Gert just being scared and frustrated and overwhelmed; she could not blame her for feeling that way. So she picked a different question, respecting Gert’s off wish to not speak about her own boyfriend right now. 

“Do you want me to wait outside?” 

At first Gert made no move. Her eyes were glued to the stick she held in her hand. Speaking of her hands, they were trembling. Karolina reached out to rub Gert’s back. It wasn’t much, but Karo had zero idea of what to say in this situation. This was all she had to comfort her friend right now. It seemed to be enough. Gert looked up and nodded, even trying to push out a small smile. It didn’t work, but Karo could see the effort. 

Within a minute, Gert was alone in the bathroom. Who knew such a small stick could be the source of so much fear and anxiety. She felt like she could throw up, probably would. Not from a baby or some sickness, but just from pure, overwhelming anxiety. It was enough to fill her up with darkness and crumble under the weight. She was sure she was having a panic attack. The room suddenly raised 20 degrees in temperature and her vision turned black and splotchy, preventing her from even being able to read the instructions on the back of the box. It seemed easy enough, pee on the stick and wait. But she read the directions anyway, wanting no gap for error. Chase could be back at any moment and it would still be a few minutes for the test to show results. Every inch of courage she had was gathered into the few minutes it took for her to actually take the test and damn aiming for that tiny stick is hard. 

After, she set the test on the counter, checking her watch to register the time. Three minutes. Not so long right? There was small knock at the door that nearly made Gert jump out of her skin. The soft voice of Karolina asking if she was ok calmed Gert a bit. She opened the door and pulled the girl inside. 

“We have to wait three minutes,” she explained. 

With those words, Gert leaned against the door and let herself sink to the floor. She buried her head in her hands, only moving when she felt Karolina sit on the ground next to her. Gert felt herself be wrapped in Karolina’s arms. The comfort was impossible to deny. Laying her head on the blonde’s shoulder, Gert let her mind wander. She was exhausted from trying, and failing, to keep her thoughts under control and not too extreme. 

Gert never knew how long three minutes was. Seconds ticked by, each one more agonizing than the last. The only comfort she was able to find in this moment was Karolina’s fingertips stroking her arm softly. Secretly she wished Karolina would say something, anything to make her feel better. But it was unfair to put that pressure on Karo. It wasn’t her fault that Gert found herself in this position. She felt lucky that her friend was even sitting here with her on the floor waiting for this stupid test. Being alone would drive her up the wall. 

“Is it time?” Karolina spoke into the silence. Gert didn’t even want to check her watch. It couldn’t be time. Her whole life was maybe about to change. It didn’t seem fair. It had already changed so much, too much. Reluctantly, Gert pulled her arm up to look at the time. 

This was it. Three minutes had gone by. 

“Karolina I can't do this,” she mumbled. Her voice was weak, barely a whisper in the air. Her eyes were on the ground as she felt the room spin around her. 

“Gert you have to look. I think not knowing is worse. Once you know-” She stopped. The words that were about to come out didn’t seem right. Saying ‘you’ll feel better’ seemed stupid because if that test tells her she’s pregnant then everything will change. She would not by any circumstances feel better. “Come on.” 

The blonde stood first, watching at Gert remained on the floor, seemingly frozen in the moment. She reached her hand down, waiting what seemed like minutes for Gert to take it and be pulled up. The test taunted both girls as it sat on the counter. No more than two words would be written on the tiny screen but they somehow felt like the most important two words either girl would ever read. ‘How is that possible?’ Gert kept thinking that question. How could one or two words be so powerful to change everything. They could ruin everything. Chase could be back any moment. They didn’t have much time. Gert picked the stick up from the counter and held it in her hands. Karolina’s face was covered in apprehension and concern, she didn’t bother hiding it. Gert kept telling herself all she had to do was look down. Come on Gert! Just look at the stick! 

Pregnant. 

The temperature of the room suddenly felt like it raised thirty degrees. Maybe this was hell. This was actual hell and that’s why this was happening. The breath was knocked completely out of Gert. She suddenly wanted to take 8 more tests to make sure they all said the same thing. Because being pregnant couldn’t be true, it couldn’t right. It couldn’t be right. She tried to speak, say words; any words. But her mouth was too dry. Vomit felt like it was creeping up her stomach and into her throat. Maybe she would vomit. She had been doing it a lot lately. She burst out of the arms Karolina had around her and ran to the toilet, collapsing down in front of it. Her hands buried her face in shame as tears seeped out of her eyes. 

“I can't be pregnant. Karolina I can't be pregnant!” she cried out. She kept repeating that same sentence over and over again, sounding insane to even herself. But Gert couldn’t stop. That single thought had control of her brain, smothering her in its hands until she felt like she could pass out. The words soon dissolved into sobs and Gert crumbled into Karolina’s arms as the blonde crawled onto the floor next to her. 

Gert’s shaking body curled up into a fetal position, leaning her back against Karolina. Part of her was busy thinking of ways she could’ve prevented this. But she knew damn well it was too late for that. Gert Yorkes was pregnant. 

“Gert, I’m sure once you tell Chase, then you’ll-” 

“No!” Gert burst out of Karo’s arms and gazed at her with serious eyes. “No I can't tell Chase yet.” Delicately, Karolina reached up to wipe the wetness away from Gert’s eyes. Gert used her own hands to brutally wipe away any tears. The mention of her boyfriend’s name brought her the realization that he could be back at any time and he couldn’t find her with any trace of tears. 

“Gert?” Karolina was immediately confused on Gert’s seeming reluctance to tell Chase they would be having a baby together. To her, it seemed like that would be the first thing she would want to do. “You have to tell Chase.” 

“No! I can't… -I can't- can't tell him yet,” Gert choked out. 

Karolina froze. What could make Gert not want to tell Chase? They tell each other everything. They were inseparable, they had been since they were kids. But looking at Gert in front of her, tears streaming from her eyes, hands trembling as they clutched onto Karolina’s arms. It all seemed to be too much. She needed time to process. 

“Go ahead into the kitchen,” Gert said, suddenly picking up her head. It was like a new wave of strength hit her. She wiped her tears away and sucked in a couple of deep breaths. In reality, Gert felt too exposed. She couldn’t help but feel weakness wash over her as she sat crying in Karolina’s arms. It was much too vulnerable a moment. “If we’re in here too long, Alex will get suspicious.” 

“Are you sure?” Karolina asked, unsure of how good of an idea it was to be leaving Gert alone right now. 

“Yeah go ahead. I want to be alone for a minute,” Gert sniffled. 

Slowly, and hesitantly, Karolina ran her hand through Gert’s hair a couple times then rose from her spot. Gert flashed her a tiny smile, if you could even call it that, considering she could barely even muster up a grin. The moment the door clicked closed with Karolina on the other side, Gert pushed her back against the wall, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. 

She didn’t try to stop the second run of tears that came down her cheeks. Her mind didn’t feel numb anymore. Now it was screaming, worrying about the future one aspect at a time. She never even really thought about if she wanted kids or not. Being so young, she always felt like she had tons of time to decide. Maybe after getting a career and getting married, she would want to have one. Or perhaps adopt like her parents did. There were times when having a kid didn’t seem so scary. She always helped take care of Molly and she could instill all of the values she held dear onto the next generation. But most of the time, she was terrified at the concept of bringing someone else into the world and having to take care of them. Half of the time, she herself felt so unstable that she didn’t know how she could ever properly care for someone else. Especially if that person was so tiny and helpless, like a newborn baby would be. 

Coming to the awareness that Chase could be home soon, Gert pulled a piece of toilet paper from next to the toilet. She wiped any trace of wetness from around her eyes. She pulled herself up from the floor, walking over to the mirror. She was better than this. She was stronger than this. This person crying on the bathroom floor, Gert couldn’t be this person anymore. This situation they were all in, there was no room to be this emotional. She took the used pregnancy test, the one that seemed to be mocking her, and wrapped it carefully in toilet paper, discarding of it in the trash. It wasn’t Gert’s turn to take out all the trash in the hostel, but no one would blink an eye if she did it anyway. All of the chores around the hostel were done on a turns basis. Week after week all the teens would take turns making sure the hostel ran as smoothly as it could, and making sure they didn’t live in such a huge dump. But lately Gert found that cleaning cleared her mind. It gave her something to focus on besides all the problems and fears and worst-case scenarios that surrounded their current situation and elevated her anxiety. So even though it was Nico’s turn to take out all the trash this week, no one would be suspicious if Gert went ahead and did it. They would just think she was having a particularly hard day inside her own head. 

She went through each room, emptying out the waste baskets and little tin buckets they used as trash cans. Once she had all of them, Chase and the others were still nowhere to be seen. She walked outside, the bright sun burning her already sensitive and puffy eyes. Normally, whoever did supply run would take all the trash to an alley way on the way to the store to discard of it in a dumpster. But since the girls had just done supply run, Gert threw the bags of trash on the side of the hostel, knowing they would get them on the next run or Old Lace would get to them first and bury them somewhere near the house like the giant puppy she is. 

Karolina was standing in the kitchen, putting away the last of the groceries when Gert strolled in looking all too calm for someone who just took a pregnancy test that came out positive. There was no little worried crinkle above her eye like normal. There was barely even any sign that she had been crying, which was total crap because Karolina knows five minutes ago Gert was bawling in her arms. Gert gave Karolina a small grin then, just like nothing was wrong, aided her in putting away the last bag of groceries. 

‘Maybe she cracked’ Karolina thought to herself. All of that anxiety has to boil over sometime. Maybe this was like when someone is so anxious and so worried that they just crack and all of a sudden they seem calm, even though they were really just falling apart inside. Is there a word for that? Karolina thought there had to be a word for that. If there was, Gert probably knew it. But she didn’t want to ask, or say anything really, that could cause Gert to break down again. So she stayed quiet and let the girl put away the last of the bag’s contents. 

Voices started to fill the room as Nico, Chase, and Molly entered the kitchen. Snapping out of the brief fixation she had on Gert, who was carelessly humming under her breath, Karolina reached up to put the cereal she had been absentmindedly holding onto in the cabinet. She half expected herself to shout out the words ‘she’s pregnant’ when she saw Chase put his arm around Gert. The girl’s eyes were bright behind her glasses and Karolina knew that was not the face of a girl about to tell her boyfriend they’re having a baby. Karo was practically shaking in anticipation for Chase to know the truth. It wasn’t her place to tell him, though. She wasn’t even sure why it was so important to her that he know. It just seemed important. Not just to Chase, but to everybody. Her thought were only mildly interrupted by Molly asking everyone if they wanted to go watch a movie in the living room. Karo didn’t even notice everyone leaving the kitchen until she felt Nico’s fingertips graze along her arm. 

“Hey,” she pulled Karolina completely out of her thoughts. Now the blonde was just caught up in how good the sensation of her girlfriend’s skin felt on hers. “You ok?” 

Karolina’s vigorous nodding was probably a give away that she wasn’t truly ok. But Nico didn’t seem to notice. Karo let Nico take hold of her hand and pull her into the living where everyone else was already comfortable huddled around the TV while Molly put in the movie. Karolina’s eyes wandered to Gert and Chase on the couch . Gert’s head laid on his strong shoulder while his fingers combed through her hair. 

‘Just give her time.’ That sentence was on repeat inside Karolina’s head. It was a large piece of information that Gert just had to swallow. She needed time to process it all. After that happened, Karolina was sure that she would tell Chase after she processed all of it. But the girl looked so calm. Denial was possible. But it was none of her business. 

But it was her business! It was everyone’s business that a baby was coming into the hostel, into their lives. But Chase had to know first. Gert had to be the one to tell him. Karolina felt like she was being driven just as crazy as Gert was. 

‘Just give her some time.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone else a “Santa Clarita Diet” fan?? I had to name the woman Sheila because I had just finished binging season 2 when I wrote that part lol


	3. It Boils Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I'M BACK! So sorry for the long wait but I'm currently working hard on the story and here is the next chapter. Drama drama drama.

Karolina was ready to scream. More specifically, she was ready to scream at the top of her lungs that Gert was pregnant. It had been two weeks since the girls were staring directly at a pregnancy test clearly reading ‘positive’ and Gert had not said one word of it to Chase or anyone else, including Karolina. It was like it never happened. On more than one occasion, Karolina had to stop and think about whether or not she had actually dreamed that moment in the bathroom with Gert. Every time she saw Gert rush into the bathroom, she knew it hadn’t been a dream at all. Gert was pregnant and if Karolina didn’t know any better, she would say Gert was in denial about it. She couldn’t live like this. She couldn’t wish it away or pretend things were different, like all of this wasn’t happening. 

All the stress of knowing about something this huge and not being able to talk about it was enough to drive Karolina crazy. She felt the words on the tip of her tongue every day. Nico constantly asked her over the past couple weeks if there was something bothering her, but she couldn’t tell her girlfriend the truth. She had had enough. The secret had to get out. Gert had to tell her own boyfriend and the whole hostel had to talk. This directly affected all of them. The fact that a baby would be joining them on the run in a matter of months is something they all had to talk about. 

Walking back into the hostel from a very early morning yoga session, Karolina stepped into the hallway only to see a very tired looking Gert step out of the bathroom. One of her hands was laid over her stomach while the other hand pushed hair out of her face. It was a familiar sight to the blonde. 

“Gert! Hey. Can we talk?” Karolina asked, getting Gert’s attention, who seemed to completely over-look the blonde coming down the hallway. 

“What’s going on?” Gert asked all too casually. 

Karo’s eyes squinted, unsure if Gert was playing dumb or really didn’t understand that Karo might actually want to talk about the pregnancy that loomed over them. “I could ask you the same question. You haven’t told Chase yet.” 

Gert breathed a heavy sigh. She did not want to have this conversation. She was hoping to avoid it entirely. It had been working for the past couple of weeks. And when she came out of the bathroom, she pretended not to see Karolina with a goal of getting to her room as quickly as possible. 

“No I haven’t told Chase yet,” she stated bluntly. 

“Do you plan on it any time soon?” There was a sharp venom in Karo’s voice that Gert wasn’t actually sure she had ever heard from her friend. 

“It doesn’t seem like any of your business Karolina,” Gert growled, trying to push her way past the blonde and to her room. 

Karolina reached out and took hold of Gert’s wrist, just lightly enough to get across that this conversation was far from over. “It’s all of our business, Gert. We all live here and what happens to one of us affects all of us.” She was done with secrets. This tiny group of people they had, it was all they had left. This was their family and they didn’t keep secrets from each other. “We are a family, Gert. You have to tell everyone.” 

Gert knew Karolina was speaking truth. There wasn’t anything she was saying that Gert could disagree with. Over the past couple weeks, as much as she had tried to free her mind of the fact that she was having a baby, it was all she could think about. There were moments during which she would find herself absent-mindedly stroking her stomach with the tips of fingers. Old Lace knew she was pregnant. Maybe it was the connection they had or maybe she could smell it. Gert wasn’t sure, but Lace knew. She would stick close to Gert, sleep in her and Chase’s room every night instead of sleeping with Molly half nights like she had become accustomed to doing. Chase wasn’t stupid or blind and he noticed the change in Lace’s behavior and the over-protectiveness she had recently developed for Gert. In the moment where he asked her about it, she thought this was the moment to tell him. She thought of Sheila, the woman she had met at the store. ‘Just get the words out.’ All she had to do was say it. But damn it was hard to say. So she blamed it on her anxiety by saying she was having a hard time lately and Lace could sense it. 

The look in his eyes when she told him that, the look like he felt he wasn’t doing enough to make her feel safe and loved, that look broke her heart. It should’ve been enough to finally get her to tell him. She should’ve been able to look at him and tell him he is doing enough, more than enough. It wasn’t him, she was just struggling with coming to terms with the fact that she was pregnant with his child. But the words were too hard. The word ‘pregnant’ still hadn’t become a natural part of her vocabulary. It still got tangled in her head and she fumbled with it, like it was another language. Before she knew it, Chase was kissing her hair and pulling her into his chest. She settled there, clutching his t-shirt. 

Gert had thought about telling Chase multiple times, more times to count. She was so close on a few occasions, but it never worked out how she wanted it to. The scariest scenarios played out inside her own head when she felt the words on the tip of her tongue. There was yelling and screaming. Gert couldn’t stand the idea of Chase being mad at her or worse, hating her. She would have seconds at a time where she realized how stupid that was because she couldn’t even imagine the kind, soft light that lived inside Chase’s eyes ever becoming that dark. 

“I’m scared to tell him, Karo,” Gert finally spoke, her voice just a whisper. Karolina’s eyes were no longer so hard and determined. They softened at the honesty in her friend’s voice. 

“Why would you be scared of Chase?” 

“I’m scared of how he’ll react. What if this baby changes everything?” Gert kept her voice hushed, at the risk of Chase or anyone else hearing their conversation through the thin walls of the hostel. She felt tears well up in her eyes. She didn’t know if it was hormones from the pregnancy or just her anxiety coming to a head, but she felt like she was having one breakdown after another lately. “What if Chase doesn’t want to have a baby? 

“Chase loves kids. He’ll love the baby-”

“Then what if he doesn’t want to have a baby with me?” Gert cut Karolina off. The emotions were shooting through her blood stream like rockets. It was overwhelming. A lot of things were overwhelming right now; just lately. The whole world was continuously on top of her, threatening to crush her if she breathed wrong. She hadn’t said these words out loud yet, they had remained trapped in her head, bouncing around like pin balls. She wasn’t sure if it would make her feel better or worse to put them out into the world. But here she was, spilling her guts to Karolina. That girl had a way of making Gert feel safe to talk, like even in vulnerability she could find peace. “What if he doesn’t love me enough to want to have a baby with me? What if he resents me and this kid? And our entire relationship is going to be ruined and one day he’ll just get up and leave and I’ll be all alone!” 

Karolina felt deeply for the sad eyed girl in front of her. Her anxiety had snuck up on her in the worst of times and put all these crazy thoughts into her head. Chase not love Gert more than anything? Yeah, that was the craziest thing Karolina had ever heard. If there was one thing she was sure of, it was that Chase Stein was now, always had been, and always would be in love with Gert. 

Karo pulled Gert in, placing her hands on her shoulders. “First of all, even in some alternate universe where Chase actually did leave you, you are not alone. You have me and Nico and Molly and even Alex. That’s what a family is,” she grinned. Gert smiled, sniffling and wiping away a couple rogue tears that spilled over the rim of her eyes. “But that doesn’t matter because Chase loves you so much. And I’m telling you, baby or no baby, he loves you Gert.” 

“You don’t think he’ll be mad?” Gert choked out. 

“Shocked maybe,” Karolina smirked. “Confused. Terrified. Probably a billion other emotions. But not mad.” 

It took Gert a minute to convince herself that Karolina was right. Maybe she was right? Gert wanted her to be right, but her thoughts circled back over and over to a vision of steaming mad Chase. But knowing Chase, he would probably be more mad if she kept keeping it from him. And what was she going to do, wait until her belly was showing and just point it out when it was already obvious? No. She had to tell him. 

“I’ll tell him today,” she said after a deep breath. She meant it when she said it. No more lies. No more secrets. She was telling Chase today. 

It was hours later and Gert still hadn’t told him. In her defense, she felt she had to find a more delicate way to tell him instead of just pouncing on him as soon as he woke up and dropping this bomb on him. She figured maybe she could ask him to go on a walk with her. Then she could tell him in private, outside just the two of them. That seemed best. Just as her body twisted, leaning towards Chase to ask him about taking a walk later that day, Alex burst into the kitchen. His breath was panted and his eyes wide behind the frames of his glasses. 

“Code red guys! Code red!” he yelled. 

“What the hell, Alex?” Nico shouted, just as confused as everyone else in the room. 

“It’s our.. I was- I- I- they’re- they’re going tonight! I- ” he stuttered, his hands gesturing wildly around the room as he spoke. The eyes of everyone around him were either wide or squinted with confusion. He seemed discombobulated, tripping on his own words, like his tongue wasn’t straight inside his mouth. 

Chase held up his hand to stop his babbling friend. “Wilder!” he yelled. The darker skinned boy looked up to Chase, his words stopping in one steady halt. “English please.” 

“Yeah what’s going on?” Molly laughed. 

With a final deep breathe, Alex seemed to get his words together. “It’s our parents.” 

The attention of everyone in the room was suddenly on Alex, undistracted by the food in front them they may have been eating before Alex ran in. The way he had trouble speaking, the fear that sat present in his eyes gave away the reality that whatever he was about to tell them wasn’t good. Nothing having to do with their parents was good. Not when their parents were still in cahoots with Jonah and working with the murderous cult that masqueraded as a church. Not even just ‘working with,’ they were pretty much the leaders! Whatever Alex was about to tell them, could not be good. 

He had been working to hack his way into the church’s computer system for a few months now, but he was working on limited resources here in the hostel. It hadn’t been going well for him. 

“Did you get into their computers?” Gert asked, pretty much reading everyone’s minds. Under the table, she could feel Chase’s hand grip onto her knee, probably knowing that her heart rate was rising even with just this question in the air. 

Alex shook his head and Gert felt like she could take a deep breathe for the first time since Alex came into the kitchen. 

“Then what?” Nico demanded. 

“I did manage to catch a phone signal,” Alex smirked, marveling at his own brilliance. “They’re planning something big. Tonight. Something that might finally make whatever it is that’s down there come up.” 

“They’ve been trying to get it out for a long time. Since before… this,” Karolina mentioned, gesturing around the worn-down kitchen. “Do you think whatever they’re planning for tonight will work?” 

“They’re going to use the staff. Nico’s mom has cooked something up that should have enough power to do it.” 

The room fell quiet as everyone contemplated how bad it could be if they’re parents succeeded tonight. They still had no idea what Jonah and their parents were after in the ground in that construction zone. But it was big, monstrous even; and it was alive and real, it was something Jonah was lusting after. Letting him get his hands on it wasn’t an option. Every pair of eyes in the room starting jumping around, meeting everyone else’s with matching worried expressions. 

“Just tell us what time Wilder,” Nico spoke. She was always ready to jump into action it seemed. Karolina suspected she just felt bad that her mom’s staff was getting a lot of the dirty work done and wanted to do all she could to stop them. 

“After midnight.” 

The group stayed gathered in the kitchen around the tiny table planning their next move and their counterattack against their parents that night. Gert stayed silent for the most part. This threw a wrench in her already very fragile, delicate plan. Not to say that her pregnancy and her baby weren’t important, but this right here in front of them was important, too. Looking over to her right side, she saw Chase looking so focused. She wanted him to stay that way, she needed him to stay that way. 

He was always so worried about her when they went out. Whether it was against their parents or to just go to the store. He was always so worried about her. It got to a point where it was almost annoying, but Gert had to admit that on her worst days, it was so sweet and comforting to have someone care that much about her. But that worry would cripple him if he knew she was pregnant. If he knew she was carrying their child in her stomach while out in danger’s way, fighting their parents, he would be a walking target of concern. It would be too easy for Chase to be caught off guard and get injured. His feelings of the pregnancy and the baby wouldn’t matter. He could hate Gert for the pregnancy like she feared, but he would still be worried about her tonight. He would still be too emotionally compromised to be on his game. 

As everyone around her talked about the night they had ahead of them, the fight they would have to put up against people they are supposed to love, and on some note still do, Gert was paying little to no attention. She was too busy talking herself out of telling Chase about the baby. 

Later on, night had fallen outside. The whole crew of runaway teens were preparing to take down their parents attempt at awakening whatever powerful entity was under the earth. Karolina, in the excitement, had just barely noticed that it didn’t appear like Gert had kept her promise to tell Chase before the day was over. Karolina wasn’t even sure Gert should be going on such a dangerous mission in her condition. Gert was sitting in the living room, criss-cross on the floor with Old Lace beside her. The prehistoric animal had barely left Gert’s side in days. Of course, Karolina knew why. She thought it was sweet that Old Lace could sense the change in Gert, and was already working to protect her and the life that grew inside of her. 

“Gert? Can we talk?” Karolina asked carefully, nearly tip-toeing into the living room. 

Gert sighed, avoiding eye contact with the blonde. She knew what this ‘talk’ would be about and she knew it would be similar to the talk they had already had that morning. 

“Karo, I’m sorry I haven’t told him. I was going to! I really was! I was going to take him on a walk, bring Lace for support. I was really planning on telling him but then-”

It was clear that Gert was running out of breath as her words tumbled out of her mouth. Karo brought up her hand to stop the exasperated teen in front of her. “Gert! Stop. Just take a breath,” she smiled. The purple-haired girl did as she was told, motioning to Lace, who had her head poked up and alert at this point, that she was fine. “What happened?” 

“Tonight is going to be dangerous, Karo. And Chase knowing I'm pregnant is only going to make him worry. He has to be focused tonight! We all do! And that includes you,” Gert explained, a determined look in her eyes that Karo knew meant there was no reasoning with her. 

“It includes you too, Gert,” Karolina argued. 

“I am focused.” The tone of Gert’s voice might have been slightly believing, but the look in eyes gave away her lie. Karolina’s eyes squinted in disbelief. “I’m as focused as I'm going to be,” Gert corrected. Her eyes softened and suddenly stared straight as Karo, honesty gleaming in them. “If something happened to Chase, I don’t know what I would do. Especially now. I need him to be focused tonight, Karolina. Alright? I’ll tell him tomorrow. I swear. I’ll tell him first thing when we get home tonight if you want! But I am not telling him before.” 

There was no point arguing with Gert. She had made up her mind. In all reality, Karolina knew she couldn’t force her to tell Chase. It was her decision ultimately, even if the whole pregnancy effected everybody here. Gert had to be comfortable telling Chase. 

Not even just that, but Karolina couldn’t disagree with Gert. Chase worried about his girlfriend all the time. And this pregnancy would push it over the edge. God Karolina could only imagine what he would be like. It’s what he will be like once he finds out the truth. But tonight, before this fight that could determine whether or not their parents get their hands on what could be an actual evil entity, was not the time. It’s a fact that he would object to Gert even going tonight. Old Lace could be helpful out in the fight and she for sure wouldn’t leave Gert’s side. But it was best from all angles if Chase found out tomorrow instead of tonight. 

With a deep breath, Karolina nodded. “You’re right. We need you and Lace out there with us tonight. And there is no way Chase would let you go if he knew.” 

“Chase is not the boss of me! And he does not tell me what to do!” 

Karolina laughed, always glad to see that being in a serious relationship hadn’t changed how independent and strong Gert was. “I know,” she giggled. “But you’re right. He would be way too distracted and over-protective.” 

“I’ll tell him tomorrow. I promise.” 

The two girls each moved a hand to connect with each other’s. Their fingers interlocked, and Gert couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with support from her blonde friend. The smile on her face was so kind, like she was just trying to help Gert let go of some of the weight that was resting on her shoulders until she told Chase the truth. Old Lace must have felt the love flowing between the two girls because her head lifted to instead lean on Gert’s leg. 

“You guys ready? We gotta get going,” Alex asked, entering the room with the rest of the teens, ruining the moment. 

“Yeah,” Gert answering, dropping Karo’s hand so they could both stand. “We were just… giving Lace a pep talk.” 

Less than five minutes later the teens were walking out the entrance of the hostel, dinosaur by their side, and all piled into the van. 

Their parents seemed less surprised than they thought they would be to see them all there, ready to fight. 

Nico’s mom had her staff in hand, seeming a bit hesitant to use it against her own daughter and her friends. But the needs of Jonah seemed to outweigh her love for Nico because sparks soon started shining out of the end of the staff. 

Dodging blows became like second nature less than 30 minutes into the fight. Exhaustion was setting in, but everyone was pushing forward. 

They had to. 

Gert was trying to stay as safe as she in the circumstances. Something inside of her suddenly felt so protective of her baby. Part of her felt selfish for even going to the fight. Now, in the moment, with sparks of dangerous energy flying out of the staff and out of Jonah’s hands, this felt much too dangerous for Gert and the life that was depending on her. 

Diving across the open field of the construction zone, Gert kept her eyes on Chase, watching closely as he fought off his own dad with his fistigons. 

Distraction settled in. She didn’t notice Karolina’s mom toss a small silver knife her way. 

“Gert!” Karolina screamed from her spot, too far away to really do anything. 

Everyone looked up to see the small knife lodge into Gert’s side, her scream sending shocks as strong as lightening through her friends. Old Lace’s roar sounded through the air, protectively running to Gert’s side as she collapsed to the ground. One final blow threw Chase’s fist to his dad’s face, sending him to the ground. He had barely caught his breath before Chase had forgotten his existence, kneeling down by his girlfriend. 

“We have to get out of here!” he cried to Karolina, who was now hovering over Gert. The girl was struggling with her breathing, her own hand clutching the spot where the knife was causing blood to spill out. 

Nico was frozen, watching the huddled scene on the ground from across the way. Her eyes shifted to her mom, who still held the staff firmly in hand. Tina Minoru started a strong stride in the direction of the teens clustered in distress on the floor. Nico knew what was about to happen. The fear and anger inside her bubbled up, reaching out her hand. She never had enough strength inside her to pull the staff into her hand. She wasn’t like her mom. She never showed enough interest in everything her mom helped to invent. But right now she couldn’t let her friends down. She couldn’t lose them. Her extended hand shook in concentration. Nico almost gave up, expecting nothing to happen like usual. 

But then the staff shook in her mom’s hand. Tina looked up at her daughter, eyebrows arched. “You’re not stronger than me, Nico,” she stated. 

Ignoring the comment, Nico kept her focus. The staff shook, sending worry through the older Minoru woman. Tina raised the staff. Just as she was about to send a spark of injury inducing energy towards her own flesh and blood, Karolina took in the scene in front of her. 

“Nico!” 

As if Karolina’s scream was just the catalyst Nico needed, her power increased inside of her. The staff flew from Tina’s hand and straight into Nico’s. The woman looked on with wide eyes. Eyes that gave away the thoughts behind them. Her brain rambled on and on, repeating the question ‘how did you do that?’ but she was too shocked to actually get the words out. Nico would’ve been more confused, if her friend wasn’t bleeding on the ground at that moment. She yelled out to Alex, who was the only one not standing directly beside Gert. When they were all in close enough proximity, Nico empowered the staff to move them. The sounds of Jonah and some of the powers shouting cuss words and threats suddenly dissolved into the air and the teens saw their surroundings change. 

They were back in the hostel. For a minute, they felt safe. But Chase looked down. He looked down to see Gert, eyes closed, her blood on his hands as he held onto her. 

“Gert!” he shuddered, remembering what had happened. 

“Move her to the bed!” Karolina ordered. She had no idea how she was as calm as she was. Chase was shaking, his face holding the traces of pure terror. Nico was still in shock from everything. Molly, oh god Molly. Molly was a wreck, hot tears running down her face as she looked at her sister. 

The group moved as one. Like one human with six limbs that were all flailing around wildly, not knowing what to do and not knowing how to move together. Into Gert and Chase’s room they went as Chase laid Gert carefully on the bed. Everyone filed in, looks of disbelief and devastation taking over their faces. Chase was frantic, raising his voice for someone to do something. 

“Nico use the stupid staff!” he yelled. Nico barely moved. The staff was tight in her hand, but she suddenly realized she barely knew how to use it. There were books she had taken from her old home when the gang did recon to their old houses. She studied them sometimes. But no real practice had been done since she obviously didn’t have the staff. “Nico!” Chase repeated when Nico showed no signs of hearing him the first time, or even any signs of human life. 

“Chase I barely know how to use this thing!” she rebutted. 

“Well you have to do something!” 

Karolina wanted to talk but her words stayed caught in her throat. Gert was bleeding. Unconscious. Injured. 

Pregnant. 

She listened as Chase and Nico argued back and forth, Alex and Molly butting in and out. The voices were becoming more and more muffled with each word shouted across the room. She couldn’t just let Nico go shooting off ‘spells’ or whatever the hell they were from that stupid staff when Gert was pregnant. If something happened to that baby, Gert would be crushed. And Karolina would never forgive herself for letting it happen. But what if something happened to Gert? Somewhere in the middle of her mental rant, Nico picked up her staff and was about to try something she was sure would work. At the tip of Nico’s words, Karolina darted forward to the edge of the bed that Gert laid on. 

“Wait! You can't!” she cried out. 

Everyone froze, confused. “Karolina she could be dying! Nico has to-” 

“No she can't just start trying random crap! We could hurt the-” she cut herself off before the word ‘baby’ slipped out in agony. Running a hand through her hair, she couldn’t take it anymore. The secret had to come out, whether Gert wanted everyone to know or not. She could die, the baby could die. Karolina felt stuck between a rock and hard place, in a situation she couldn’t win. She didn’t want Gert to be mad at her, but she wanted, needed, her to be safe. They all did. Her eyes closed, knowing this was the last moment before everything out change. Things had already changed without everyone knowing. But now they would realize the situation they were really in. “She’s pregnant.”


	4. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang bands together to help Gert. And a look inside Chase's mind now that Gert's secret has been revealed at probably the most already stressful time.   
> I didn't proofread this because it's late and I just wanted to get this chapter up. Sorry for any mistakes but I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!!

At first, Karolina thought her words fell on deaf ears. No one moved. They looked the same as they did when they were waiting for her to explain herself for stopping Nico from trying to help Gert with the staff. The room was too quiet for a room that held a bleeding girl. It was eerie. Like the quiet was taunting all of them. Like it was trying to make them all feel safe, when in reality, they had so much to be afraid of or worried about. 

Suddenly, Chase’s tremoring voice filled the empty space in the air. “What? Wh-what are you talking about?” he asked. 

Karolina was trying to avoid looking at Chase at all costs. She was sure his expression wouldn’t make her feel any better about spilling this bomb at probably the worst time. It would read of a man who was just told that not only could he lose the girl he loves, but their child too. He was confused and shocked and probably feeling lied to, which he had a right to feel. But Karolina didn’t want to see it. She didn’t want to see his eyes fill with sadness. Right now, she just wanted to help Gert. 

“Nico there has to be something you can do without hurting the baby,” she spoke to Nico, actively ignoring Chase’s question. 

“That’s no added pressure!” Nico complained. 

The blonde moved towards Gert, hovering over where the knife was still sticking out. In this moment, she wished she had paid more attention in anatomy class. She watched enough of those dumb medical dramas to know that the knife couldn’t be taken out if it impaled anything. Her brain moved so fast, thought after thought shooting by like on a freeway. 

“We have to take the knife out!” Nico yelled, interrupting Karolina’s overthinking process. 

“We can't just rip things out of her body, Nico! She could bleed out or something!” At this point, Karolina was just repeating things she heard on TV. 

Nico, frustrated, looked around the room for a plan. She had almost forgotten that other people were there besides Karolina and herself. Molly was hysterical, Chase looked as white as a ghost, and Alex was just standing in the doorway looking inward. 

“Alex! What do we do?” Nothing. He didn’t move a muscle as Nico stared at him waiting for something, anything to happen. There was no time for him to stare off into space. It was as if the world was frozen; and there was no time for it. “Alex!” Nico’s voice was as shrill as Karolina had ever heard it be. It almost frightened her. But then she looked down at Gert, her eyes closed and her bleeding body motionless, and she understood the harsh tone from her girlfriend. 

Alex’s head snapped as he turned to Nico. “You paid more attention in anatomy than any of us. Is it safe to pull this knife out?” Karolina’s calm tone asked. How she managed to keep her voice so light was beyond her mind. There was enough worry in the room. There was more than enough fear. That was obvious just by looking around the room. Half the teens were crying, the other half were arguing in shouts and screams. 

The boy paused, assessing the situation, willing himself to pay attention and help as much as he could. He moved closer to the bed side and inspected the knife protruding out of his friend’s side. “We can take it out. But she’s losing a lot of blood. We have to stop the blood loss and seal the wound.” Suddenly it was like Alex was kicked into gear. Karolina’s eyes followed him as he moved around the room frantically. He gathered up a towel that was thrown over the chair and ran back to the bed. “Karolina take this!” 

“What do I do with it?” she asked, slightly hysterical. 

“I’m going to take the knife out. As soon as I do, I need you to press the towel as hard as you can to clot the blood,” he spoke, handing the towel off to the blonde. “Nico I need you to go find a needle or something to stitch up the wound when we’re done!” 

Less than a second passed before Nico was running out of the room to do exactly what she was told. Chase stepped forward in the same moment that Alex kneeled down to have a direct angle on the knife. 

“Hold on Wilder! What are you going to do? Sew her up with what? Thread from a t-shirt?” Chase angrily accused. 

“Obviously I'm not going to use thread Chase!” 

“Well what are you going to use?” Chase’s voice was filled with rage, but also shook underneath the anger. He was terrified. Every second he spent staring at Gert, the love of his life, and apparently the mother of his child, he just had the idea of losing her sink deeper and deeper into his mind. He wanted answers. Even though he knew everyone in the room was just as scared and confused as he was, he wanted answers, demanded them. 

Alex was only half committed to his argument with Chase. He had barely even looked up since Chase started speaking. He was much more concerned with what was in front of him: Gert. The longer that knife stayed in her, the more blood she was losing. And once she lost a certain amount of blood, they couldn’t help her here. They would have to take her to a hospital, admit her, fill out paperwork. It would be over for them. 

“I don’t know, Chase!” Alex argued back. 

“Well shouldn’t you-” 

“Chase!” Alex snapped. His head whipped up, breaking his eyes away from the silver tint of the tiny knife. “She is losing a lot of blood. And she’s going to keep losing blood as long as we’re just sitting here. Do you know what happens if she loses too much blood? She’ll need a transfusion. And we’ll have to take her to the hospital. Is that what you want? I don’t have time to think. I’m going to do whatever I can to save her, but I am not a doctor and we do not have the greatest list of options here. So you just have to trust me alright?” he ranted. 

The room was silent. No one had seen Alex lose himself like that probably ever. He was a timid kid, not one to completely go off on people. But stress does funny things to people. Alex had probably never been so stressed. Here he was, in a dirty room and his friend literally bleeding to death in front of him and everyone was looking at him to save her. Chase nodded, backing off. He looked off to Karolina, who looked just as taken back by Alex’s outburst as Chase did. 

“Karolina, I’m going to pull this out and as soon as do, you need to press the towel to the wound as hard as you can. Keep the pressure until I tell you to stop,” he explained. Karolina, hands shaking in nervousness, leaned down next to Alex, ready to do her part in helping Gert. 

Chase found his way to the side of the bed and slid his hand into Gert’s. It seemed like hours passing by as he watched Alex slide the silver weapon out of his girlfriend. For the moment, he was actually thankful Gert was unconscious because he didn’t know if he could take the pained noises and cries she would probably be emitting if she was awake. Karolina did exactly as she was told, pressing the towel to the bloody gash. Both teens watched in pain as the towel slowly changed from its light blue color to a damp crimson red. Alex left the room in a haste, taking a still crying Molly with him to help Nico look for the necessary items, or at least replacements, to provide Gert with stitches. 

“You knew she was pregnant?” Chase voiced into the silence. 

Karolina sighed, knowing she couldn’t avoid this conversation forever. “I was there when she took the test,” she answered. 

“How long have you guys known?” 

Karolina paused. She didn’t want to have to explain why Gert didn’t tell him the truth. Honestly, the blonde had no idea why. She could blame Gert’s anxiety or the whole situation they were in or a number of other things. But in reality, there was no way Karolina could really explain what Gert had going on her in head or why it all prevented her from telling Chase. Neither girl wanted Chase to find out like this. 

“A couple of weeks. When Gert and I went on that supply run. We bought a test and she took it when we got home that day,” she explained. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“It wasn’t my secret to tell! And she asked me not to tell you.” The hurt in Chase’s eyes was too bright for Karolina to keep looking at. She turned her head to instead focus on the job she was given, pressing a little harder. 

Inside, Chase knew it wasn’t fair to be questioning Karolina so much, but blinded by anger and fear, he wanted to blame. He needed to blame someone, anyone, for how he felt right now. “Why wouldn’t she want you to tell me? Why wouldn’t she want me to know that we’re having a baby? I deserve to know too, Karolina! It’s my kid!” 

“Don’t yell at me, Chase,”’ Karolina begged. Exhausted, she was about to push her hair back, but realized it was covered in blood. Her eyes widened, seeing the dark liquid covering her hands and even the front of her shirt. She felt like throwing up. There was so much blood. Gert’s blood. Because Gert could’ve died. She almost did. And now she was being yelled at by Chase, even though she knew he was going through a million different emotions right now. “Please don’t yell at me, Chase,” she repeated, he voice weaker than it was before. 

Just as he was about to speak, Chase changed his mind and kept his mouth shut. He realized at about the same time that Karolina did that she was covered in Gert’s blood. Both of them were. It was a little unbearable to witness. He wanted to apologize to Karolina for yelling at her, possibly even blaming her for a moment. But he suddenly felt like he couldn’t get words out without yelling. In the moment’s anger, he just wanted to yell. He felt like the one thing he never, ever wanted to be. Chase felt like his dad. His eyes, previously glued to Gert, moved to her stomach. Inside was a baby, a real baby that he would have to father. Thoughts of failing and letting down both Gert and the baby like his own dad let down Chase and his mom flashed through his head at lightening speed. 

He didn’t even notice Alex rush back into the room with Nico and Molly in tow. “Is the bleeding stopping at all?” he asked Karo hastily. 

“I think so,” she replied, seeming to soften from her nervousness a bit as Nico placed her hand on the blonde’s back lightly. 

“Yeah it looks good. It’s still bleeding a bit. But we have to get this sewed up. Molly help me?” Alex took over the spot next to the bed where Karolina was just sitting. 

The blonde stood up, her eyes not moving from Gert. She thought back to earlier that night. Why did she let Gert go? The gut feeling she had told her it was too dangerous. All she had to do was stop Gert from going or tell Chase. They wouldn’t be in this mess. The blood of one of her best friend’s wouldn’t be on her hands and on her clothes, probably forever stained crimson red. Karo’s arched brow furrowed a little deeper in concern thinking about everything that could have gone wrong and how much she would blame herself if they had. Nico’s hand tangled in the blonde mess on top of her girlfriend’s head. 

“Are you ok?” she asked carefully, watching with gentle eyes as Karo turned to look at her. Karolina wanted to sink into her arms, hold her and be held by her. She wanted to tell her everything and be comforted like only Nico could comfort her. Maybe she could tell her that none of this was her fault in a way that Karolina would actually believe; because she wasn’t believing it when she said it to herself in her head. 

Without any kind of answer to the question, Karolina made her way to the door. “I need to wash this blood off,” she said. Immediately, her hand was pulled back. 

“I’ll help you,” Nico declared, not taking no for an answer. The hands between them linked tightly, one squeezing the other for much needed comfort. They disappeared out of the room and down the hall. 

Chase sat on the edge of the bed, Gert’s limp hand inside his own. He was probably squeezing it a little too tight, but it didn’t seem to matter much when she was unconscious. The boy did find himself wishing Gert could cuss at him right now to stop breaking her hand. Just the sound of her voice would be so comforting right now, even if it was to yell at him. When they were younger, Chase would always go to Gert’s house after a big fight with his dad. He could listen to her talk for hours. Of course, he would talk back, but he enjoyed when she went off on her tangents, talking about things she read about in books or saw on TV or learned from her parents. Hearing all of her opinions of the world always amazed Chase. Even as a little kid, Gert always had such big opinions. Whatever she was talking about, he just liked hearing her voice. It was like as long as she was talking, nothing bad could happen. 

But now here he was, watching Alex sew up his girlfriend with some random replacement for legitimate stitch thread and a freaking sewing needle. And actual sewing needle! But Chase didn’t dare protest. Sure this all made him nervous as hell but he knew they didn’t have many real options. And Alex was right, they couldn’t just sit here and let her get worse. Molly saw the look on his face and muttered something about how they disinfected everything with boiling water to prevent infection. As if that would make him feel better. Maybe it made Molly feel better? Chase wasn’t sure, so he just smiled at the younger girl as she told him. 

Alex was mumbling inaudible things under his breathe, which at first freaked Chase out like crazy. But he didn’t say anything. He was sure Alex was feeling under so much pressure, maybe he was just trying to stay focused. Chase understood the anxiety Alex must have been feeling. Until this moment, Chase had been so preoccupied worrying about Gert, that he didn’t even start worrying about the baby. But suddenly the baby felt like his whole world. He felt it was his right to care about his own kid, just like it was his right to care about his girlfriend. Even if Gert constantly said she was a big girl and her own woman and didn’t need a man looking out for her. Chase was proud to have such a strong girlfriend who could stand on her own two feet and ultimately take care of herself. But he did still want to take care of her. Especially right now. Whatever he had to do for Gert and that baby, he would do. He would do it in a heartbeat. 

“Alright. I think she’s all set,” Alex’s voice broke the air and penetrated Chase’s thoughts. 

The handsome boy jumped up from his spot to look at the finished work. The wound looked bad, swollen and surrounded by a mixture of dried and wet blood. But the stitches themselves didn’t look that bad. Not exactly professional looking, but he figured this was as good as it could get in their situation. 

“Wilder thank you. Seriously,” Chase thanked sincerely. 

“She’s my friend, too. We’re a family here.” 

“Well I honestly owe you one. You saved her life. Thank you,” he stated again. 

Molly got up, throwing her arms around Alex and pulling him in for a hug. A rogue tear escaped her eye and ran down her cheek. She felt like she could breathe again after this whole ordeal. Her sister was still here and alive. There was nothing she wouldn’t do to keep her sister here with her. She felt like she owed Alex and much as Chase did. 

“I’m going to go and get some new towels. Clean up the blood,” Chase said with little emotion. He moved towards the door of the bedroom and walked down the hall, feeling like a zombie. There was still so much on his mind, thoughts running ramped. His dad, his baby, Gert, the whole terrible situation they were in; it all trampled him until he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Leaning against the wall, he took in the first deep breath he had taken since he watched that knife fly through the air and lodge itself into his girlfriend. 

He was going to have a baby. Chase Stein was going to have a baby. 

And in this moment, Chase Stein was terrified that he would be exactly like his own father.


	5. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gert wakes up. But that just means she has to face the fact that Chase knows about the baby. How will that conversation go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SO I KNOW IT'S BEEN 6000 YEARS SINCE I'VE UPDATED BUT.... 
> 
> here's the deal: I just sort of lost all inspiration before. Like I would have to force myself to sit down and write and it was never like that before. I would always love to write and I would be thinking of my story all the time to get dialogue down and stuff. But for a while I would actually have to force myself. And I would just end up writing something I hate or staring a blank page for an hour while maybe writing a couple sentences. It felt like school honestly... where you can't write because you just don't want to. So I genuinely had to take a writing break. And now I just want to write! I'm inspired and the words are flowing when I sit down. It feels like old times when I used to be working on like 3 stories at once because I was just so excited and had so many ideas. 
> 
> So i'm back! And I know I've said that before but I think I mean it now. Shoutout to my homegirl on tumblr (wellheythereneighbor) for lowkey being the reason I was like 'hey maybe I should write today' and it all kind of clicked! 
> 
> I actually really enjoy how this chapter came out. I HOPE IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT!

Hours after Gert’s makeshift surgery, she was still asleep. Alex was getting a well-deserved rest in his own bed and even Karolina and Nico had knocked out. It took some convincing to get Karolina to go to sleep. Only with the promise from Chase that he would wake her up should Gert awaken did she agree to go to sleep with Nico. 

It was pointless to try to convince Molly. Even for the brief moment that Chase looked at her, about to tell her to go to bed herself, she glared at him. 

“There’s about a big a chance of me leaving as there is of you leaving. I’m not going anywhere until she wakes up and I know she’s ok,” Molly demanded. The tone of her voice couldn’t help but remind Chase of Gert and it both amused him and scared him. 

He didn’t bother arguing. So Chase, Molly, and Old Lace all settled into the room, Chase in the chair by the bed, Molly on the tiny loveseat on the side of the room, and Lace on the floor at the end of the bed. It was finally quiet. It was eerie to have the room be this quiet after all the commotion that filled it a couple hours ago. But as their eyes fell on the Gert and the soft rise and fall of her chest, proving she was ok, they felt a little better about the quiet. It actually became comforting after a little while. 

As much as Molly tried to fight it, tiredness overtook her. Her eyes shut and soon she was sleeping as soundly as Gert was. Chase got up for a minute to place a blanket over her sleeping form, but then went straight back to the bed side. 

Sleep barely pestered Chase as he waited impatiently for the moment Gert’s eyes would flutter open. Too many thoughts were running through his head to let him fall asleep. There was too much anticipation. This was probably the closest he would ever get to knowing how Gert’s anxiety made her feel and how it kept up night after night. Part of Chase was nervous for Gert to wake up. How would he bring up the baby? How would she react to him knowing? A little piece of his chest tightened in fear that he would yell, like he had done with Karolina earlier. Gert was hurt, really hurt, and Chase was sure her anxiety was running wild already. The last thing he wanted to do was to be responsible for hurting her even more, physically or mentally. So he just sat there silently, thinking about all the things that could be said when Gert finally opened her eyes. Some of the possibilities terrified him to no end. 

Waiting got to be unbearable. He didn’t want to fall asleep, but after closing his eyes for what he meant to only be a minute or two, Chase found himself dozing off into sleep. He awoke to a pressure on his hand. He jolted. Shock moved through his dazed body, the kind of shock that only comes with not remembering how or when you fell asleep. Dim light was now creeping in through the dirt covered window of the room and Chase knew he had to have been asleep for a couple of hours at least. A tiny pressure shot through his hand again, reminding him of what woke him in the first place. He looked down and saw a pair of big brown eyes staring up at him with confusion. 

“What happened?” Gert asked with a cracked voice. 

Chase wanted to answer and tell her everything; from how Chase wanted to kill Karolina’s mom for throwing that knife at her to how much of a rockstar Alex was for saving her with makeshift surgery to how terrified he was watching it all happen to how much he loved her. He wanted to tell her everything. But he was frozen. He was too focused on her open eyes and the words coming out of her mouth. She was alive. He knew it before but it didn’t seem to sink in until now. 

“Chase? What happened?” Gert repeated. Secretly she was happy that dumb dimpled smile of his was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. 

“You- uh… what do you-” Chase fumbled with his words. Gert gave his hand a little tug seeing how flustered and on edge he was. Of course, Gert would be the one comforting him in this moment. “Do you remember anything from the fight with our parents?” 

Thinking to herself for a moment, Gert suddenly remembered the stabbing pain that was running through her whole body, seeming to infect her blood stream before passing out into darkness. The knife. She threw the covers off of herself, seeing the bright red stain on her shirt right over the spot she recalls the intense pain radiating from. There was still pain, growing stronger as she woke up more and regained more and more consciousness. It was like her side was burning, singeing off with each breath she took. Carefully, she pulled her shirt up a little to reveal something she didn’t expect to see. Stitches. She wasn’t sure what she did expect to see. Maybe she half expected the knife to still be there, sticking out of her. But she definitely didn’t expect to see stitches. 

“Alex did that,” Chase explained briefly, seeing the understandable confusion on his girlfriend’s face. 

“Alex?” 

“Yeah. He basically saved your life,” Chase smiled. Gert had ripped her hand away from his when she moved to pull the covers away from her wound. Chase reached over to reclaim the little hand inside his own. He craved being close to her right now. There were too many moments in the last 8 hours where he thought he was going to lose her. “I didn’t know if I was ever going to see you again,” he said at the risk of being too mushy. He didn’t care right now. He had to tell her. 

“You thought you were going to get rid of me that easily?” Gert smirked back, pulling the blanket back over her body, not wanting to look at the ugly stitching anymore. 

“Nothing with you is ever easy,” he replied. 

It wasn’t true of course. Chase found that most things were easier with Gert by his side. It had always been that way. The only thing that was harder with Gert were feelings. Expressing his feelings, especially the ones he had towards her, were always a little tricky for Chase. The fear of being shot down or rejected by the only girl he’s ever truly wanted, that would break his heart even to this day. 

Matching grins settled on their faces as Gert reached up to push little strands of brown hair out of Chase’s handsome face. His features always took her back a little bit. He had no right being that damn handsome, she always thought. But he was. And he was here by her bed, waiting for her to wake up. 

“I love you,” Chase beamed, still just marveling in the fact that she was alive. 

After a silent moment, Gert’s voice made its way into the air. “I love you Stein.” 

Those words got caught in her throat whenever she said them, just out of pure anxiety. But she meant it. She knew she meant it. That was why she went through the distress of pushing the words out every time. Once they hit the atmosphere, they felt right. Chase’s smile always grew a little bit after the words hit his ears and that was Gert’s favorite part. 

The moment shattered as the sound of the door creaking open hit their ears. Blonde hair appeared first, then revealed Karolina wandering in. “Chase I wanted-” she whispered at first, obviously thinking Gert was still asleep. Her face looked as frozen as Chase’s did when he first saw Gert awake. “You’re awake!” 

“She woke up not too long ago,” Chase took the liberty of saying. 

“How do you feel? Are you ok?” Karolina stepped into the room, stopping her footsteps at the foot of the bed, careful not to get too close. She knew Gert was probably incredible sore and in pain from the lack of pain medication they had to give her. The girl in the bed was as white as a ghost, eyes pink with a dark color under them. She didn’t look great, but a lot better than you would expect someone to look after they get stabbed and are forced to have amateur surgery in their underground hideaway. Gert was too strong for her own good. 

Gert shrugged. “As good as I can be I guess,” she mumbled, feeling the pain as she tried to shift in the bed. 

After first hearing those words, Karolina look relieved. Gert was alive, in immense pain, but alive. Suddenly, Karo remembered what she came into the room for. She remembered what had kept her up, unable to fall asleep for the past few hours. 

“Do you think I could borrow Chase for a minute? I have to talk to him… about something,” she stumbled through her words. 

Chase furrowed his brow, not used to seeing Karo so rattled. “You can't just talk to me in here?” he asked. 

“I just need to talk to you in private about something. It’ll only take a minute,” she pleaded. Chase didn’t move from his chair. “Chase please just come-”

“Karo,” Gert interjected. “You told Chase about the baby didn’t you?” 

Karolina’s face dropped. The thought of this very moment had terrified her since the second she blurted out the truth about the pregnancy. She blamed herself. Nico told her over and over again it wasn’t her fault, but it all fell on deaf ears. 

Truthfully, Gert knew the second she felt that knife sink into her that everyone would find out. She was well aware that it was her own fault that they didn’t already know. And she knew more than anything that she didn’t want Chase to find out the way he probably did. That’s never been what she wanted. She wanted him to hear it from her, at the perfect moment where he could be happy and excited and they could have a moment like any other normal couple has when they realize they’re having a baby. Even if Gert was absolutely terrified, and she was, she wanted to have a moment with Chase where they could both be excited. Even if it only lasted for a minute, it would be enough. Then after they could be scared and worried. She lost that moment. And it was her own fault because she was too scared to tell Chase the truth. Anxiety is funny that way. No matter how excited you are for something, you could miss out on it just because you can't shake loose the thoughts of what could go wrong. 

“Gert I’m so sorry. I know you didn’t want- I just you were. You were unconscious! And I didn’t want them to hurt the baby!” Karolina spewed out. All her words somehow strung together into one sentence. Gert didn’t think at all that Karolina would have such a heavy burden to carry telling everyone about the baby. 

“Karo I’m not mad!” Gert interrupted Karo’s long thread of words. “It’s my own fault that no one knew yet. I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you to keep such a huge secret.” 

“I’m still sorry. I just didn’t know what else to do.” 

Gert couldn’t help but laugh a little. She extended her hand, her eyes urging Karolina to grab onto it. The blonde reached over, inching forward like a small child scared of getting in trouble. Gert squeezed her hand as tight as her sore and weak body would allow her to. 

“You do not have to be sorry,” she reassured. 

The growing smile on Karo’s face was a good sign to Gert that the blonde had just released some of the weight on her shoulders. There was no lie that came out of Gert’s mouth. There wasn’t anything to be sorry about. She grasped onto her friend’s hand, hoping to keep her in the room and avoid having to talk to Chase about the awkward, baby-shaped elephant in the room. Pain seemed to be radiating from every limb on her body and she had never felt so tired. Nothing seemed more unappealing to her right now than arguing with Chase about their baby. 

“Have you two had a chance to talk about it yet? The baby?” Karolina asked, hesitation in her voice. As if Gert’s brainwaves were shooting into Karolina’s mind, the blonde suddenly cursed her own words. 

Chase looked down at his own hands as his fingers nervously fumbled with the frayed edge of his girlfriend’s blanket. “Um… no we haven’t,” he revealed. 

Karolina felt embarrassed. She couldn’t explain why. But she couldn’t help but feel like she was intruding on their moment. Gert had lost her rightful place to tell her boyfriend that they were having a baby. And Chase had the misfortune of having to hear the news from anyone besides Gert. Karolina felt horrible about it, even if Gert told her not to. They deserved to at least talk about it in private. 

“I will go let Alex know you’re awake. I’m sure he’ll want to check you out. I think he enjoys playing doctor,” Karo grinned, backing out of the room. The little click of the door shutting completely left the two teens still in the room know they were alone once more. 

The silence was almost deafening. Gert was afraid she had an ear full coming for her. Her body felt like crumbling to dust and she was feeling just about the complete opposite of ready for a lecture right now. She wished she could crawl under a rock and die. Maybe not die… but at least hide for a little bit, until she was sure Chase wouldn’t be mad. Even right now, she couldn’t read his face. His eyes scanned the room, looking anywhere other than at Gert for the first time since she woke up that morning. 

“If you’re going to yell can you just do it already?” she muttered, turning her own eyes away from the boy she had hurt. 

Chase’s head shot up, aiming his eyes back to her quickly as her words fell on his ears. He almost wasn’t sure he heard her right. “Why would I yell at you?” he asked. 

“You have to be angry that I didn’t tell you,” she spat, almost sarcastically. Venom stung her voice and it sounded to Chase like she was the angry one here. 

Angry at herself, maybe. 

But Chase wasn’t angry. Hurt, for sure. Surprised. Shocked. Maybe even a little ashamed that his own girlfriend didn’t feel like she could trust him enough to tell him about his own child. His mind scrolled through his past, trying to find a moment where he could have made her think he would actually yell at her in anger right now. Chase hated yelling. He avoided it whenever he could. Last night, with Karo, even that was more yelling than he liked. It reminded him of home; his old home that never really felt like a home because a monster haunted the halls. He wouldn’t yell at Gert. Especially when she was hurt. Never. 

For a moment, Chase didn’t know what to say. Should he tell her he’s not angry? Would she even believe him? It was true. But Gert was a pretty determined person, not one to be swayed easily. She had had too much time to commit to the idea that Chase was angry. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he settled on asking. It was the one thing on his mind since the words slipped out of the blonde’s mouth the night before. 

Gert looked away, her eyes down on her hands as they twirled in her lap. “I don’t know, Chase.” Her voice grumbled and revealed how sobs threatened her in her throat. Chase reached up to take hold of one of her hands. It was shaking just barely, cold to the touch. It reminded Chase that she almost just died, taking their baby with her. He wanted honesty now more than ever. 

He wanted her to tell him what stopped her from telling him the truth a lot sooner so he could tell her that whatever it was, it was ridiculous; he could tell her that nothing makes him happier than knowing there’s going to be a tiny baby that’s half him and half the person he loves. 

“Gert,” he whispered, just to get her eyes on his. He squeezed her hand a little just to show her how sincere he was being. He wasn’t angry. “It’s just me, babe. Why didn’t you tell me?” he repeated. 

Seconds, minutes even, passed by. Chase wasn’t actually sure how long the silence lingered around them with Gert just looking up at him, running her thumb along the side of Chase’s hand. 

“I didn’t want you to be mad at me. I couldn’t get the image of you blaming me and yelling at me out of my head. It’s like it’s been playing on repeat in my head since before I even took the test,” she whimpered, as she audibly tried to suck back any real tears before they could reveal themselves. 

Blame her? That didn’t even seem right. 

“That seems very out of character for you. And incredibly patriarchal,” he smirked, trying to make the air a little less heavy. “But seriously you know it takes two people to make a baby right? You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“I know,” she whispered back. 

“I still wish you would’ve told me.” 

Gert breathed out a sigh. In all honesty, she wishes she would’ve told him, too. Instead he had to find out the way he did. Chase didn’t deserve that. 

“I was just overwhelmed, babe,” she admitted. 

Chase didn’t bat an eye or look surprised in any way at that admission of the truth. Gert, with all her strength and overwhelming courage and bravery, was still dealing with so much. Stars swirled in Chase’s eyes as he looked on at her. Unmedicated anxiety, being on the run like they were, and a pregnancy were all weighing on her but she got out of bed every morning like the rest of them. Some days were better than others, but he was amazed at her for even being able to function like a normal human. It was crazy how she sometimes saw herself as lesser or weaker, because she was a damn super human to Chase. 

“And anxiety is a real bitch,” Gert continued, seeing Chase was going to settle for staring at her with that dumb grin rather than actually saying anything. “I know you’re not some misogynistic asshole who would blame the girl for getting pregnant. I have no idea which part of my messed-up brain let me believe that you were like that. I’m sorry,” she paused, her eyes welling a little, as much as she tried to stop it. “And I'm really scared Chase.” 

Chase wouldn’t deny that he was terrified. His shaking hands relaxed inside the tangles of soft, faded purple hair. “I'm scared too. But we’re going to have a baby!” he smiled, Gert’s small grin following close behind. “And I’m going to protect that kid. And you. I'm going to look out for both of you. I promise.”

“Now who’s being patriarchal?” Gert teased. “I really am sorry I didn’t tell you.” 

“It’s ok. I know it’s hard being here and without your pills. Everything going on in your head. It must be hard,” Chase sympathized. His fingers lightly stroked her hair as it spread over the white pillow. Of course, Chase would never know exactly how Gert felt or what it was like for her to live here with all her anxiety and none of her pills. But he knew enough, saw enough, to know it couldn’t be easy. And he knew that was definitely an understatement. 

A quant smile spread on Gert’s lips. Chase really tried to help her as much as he could “It’s just loud,” she smiled. “But I still should’ve told you.” 

“Yeah,” Chase breathed out. Gert didn’t quite know what to expect until she saw a smirk on his handsome face. “But I’ll let it slide because you’re hurt.” 

It actually made Gert laugh. He was already kind of sounding like a dad. 

“Oh really? You’ll let it slide?” 

“Yeah.” Gert laughed as much as she could without feeling a surge in pain from her already painful wound. Chase leaned forward, closing much of the space between them. His face, covered in an adoring expression, sat just a couple inches from his girlfriend’s. He came so damn close to losing her, after waiting so long to even get her in the first place. But he couldn’t think about that. “I love you. Thank you for not dying,” he smiled. 

“I love you, too,” Gert said back, finally closing the gap between completely. His lips were so soft, delicate. They were almost sweet enough to make her forget where they were, the trouble they were in, the pain that coursed through her body. Chase pulled back too soon for Gert’s liking, but they had plenty of time to do that; their whole lives, she liked to think. “And you’re welcome. How long do you think we have before everyone rushes in here?” 

Chase thought for a moment. “Well considering Karo probably told them to give us some time to talk about ‘peanut’ here,” he said, gesturing to Gert’s belly. The purple haired girl got a small chuckle out of hearing the affection nickname, “I would say we have at least half an hour.” 

“I’ll take it.” 

Gert’s hand lightly patted the spot of the bed next to her, inviting Chase inside. His face was hesitant, not wanting to hurt her. But Gert was already scooting over so he could sit on her right side, as to not disturb the injury sitting on the left side of her stomach. The gruntled and hissing noises coming out of Gert’s mouth gave away the pain she got from even shifting her body over a foot. Chase made a mental note to make sure he got a good pain medication for her. Carefully, he crawled onto the bed next to his girlfriend and threw his arm around her slowly, letting her settle into his side before making sure to relax his arm away from her stitched-up gash. 

Once he felt Gert relax, his eyes made their way down to her stomach. There was a baby in there. A baby that was his. And Gert’s. It was a baby that was half his and half Gert’s. every possible combination of words flew through his head. It felt like some crazy dream. And yeah, he knows he should be scared, terrified even. And he was terrified. But he couldn’t help but be more excited than anything else. Maybe he would be more terrified after everything had a chance to process. But right now, he was enjoying the happiness he was feeling. 

Slowly, his hand moved to be placed on top of Gert’s belly. His thumb stroked softly, a smile living on his lips that he didn’t ever think would go away. Soon, a smaller hand was on top of Chase’s, covering his. His lips burrowed into purple hair to press a kiss as he felt Gert nestle deeper into the crevasse of his side. He wanted this to last as long as possible before their friends came in and started being logical and asking questions. 

He just wanted this moment with Gert.


End file.
